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Sunday, February 8, 2009

Equations 1- ( A new series of posts on the ifs, buts, hows, of teenage double life!!!)

To be or not to be, I am only 18...


I am just a boy
Who thinks he’s got love!
Was willing, now is unsure
Whether he wants it forever?

Didn’t I begin to complete
With permissions from you, my heart
Then why put forth this treachery
This new question altogether?

You flicker with un-promise
Un-descriptive, in-assure
You know what that makes me?
“It’s called a traitor”

That’s not what we wanted
Isn’t that why we waited so long
And now with the gift in hand
You whisper unsteadily, about holding on?

I am scared too, you know
By the expanse, the expense
What is it for you?
Just to let you know
Everything begin nascent.

Tell me...

We might not reach high notes
That is not my bother
What keeps me is how you are
Reluctant to reorder

For I know you will sing forever
Even the wrong song
Am I not right?
That you will want me to whine along

Of that, I am un-sure
In-descriptive, un-promising
Of that, I am flickering
Unwilling, in calculus

It scares me
When you refer to possibilities as treachery
I know your love
How it corrupts!
How it erupts...

Your expanse, its expense
All you unsee
All I have to foresee
I was with you last time you are in love.... huh
How you still are.

Another of my concern, you never cease to love
You love from love, and not through me
So I can never behold.
You love to cry
Your love, it bleeds
And I can’t stand to bleed forever
More than I already have to.

I am only 18
Don’t put me under
Such intense responsibilities
Righteousness is for old age
And I will not deny then
For now, let me frolic
Rejoice the unsteadiness.

You make me happy
You reflect a felt voice
Thanks for letting me know
The implications of choice

I will try to comprehend
Will try to recreate
But how do I convince myself
For what I think is trait

This play, the delay
The love that beholds
To be or not to be
How it need not be told

But you know what
Maybe you are right!
If it makes me happy
I don’t have to foresight
To Be,
And can be retold
After all
I am just 18!
Not old.