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Friday, October 24, 2014

Politics of Sexual Control.

Your city where you have lived most, more often than not, is a terrible place to exercise your sexuality, absolutely horrible for maneuvering it in new directions, and a nightmare god forbid if you’re on a path of exploration.
Every space in it is etched with some remnants of who you have been and any unprecedented desire will make you feel treacherous towards yourself killing the will to explore it.
And if spaces weren't enough… there is your social circle and square and grid which commodifies your sexual honor pulling its value up and down as per every little move you make. Parents, relatives, friends, colleagues, institutions, every random person you cross is constantly scrutinizing and negotiating the price of your sexual being.
Negotiating with whom?
Negotiating it with you. Such is its manipulation.
Religion, industries, politics all thrive off stifled sexuality (Sexual freedom is the aspiration underlining every sales pitch, sexual control in case of religion) and they come together and bombard you with propaganda so immense, you think you can escape it but you realize later (and most people never do) that you have just been living on concessions.
Internet offers the much needed respite from this constant vigilance and trade. For how long is a separate story altogether. But over two decades of sexual expression stands on the anonymity provided by the medium which has allowed people to escape and practice their desires.
But the thing about virtual sexual expression is (and this is not a fact but my own observation as an online user of sexual platforms) that rather than working for your existing personality and accessing that, such expression ends up creating a separate persona of you (Based on excess and manufactured aspirations) which it functions with and for … causing dissocia between the person you are on and offline... leaving the offline self of the user unfulfilled just the same.
Travel is another escape which a lot of people resort to, those who can; they go to places where nobody knows them and try to live they sexual life they want. But then again, most just leave all they have discovered behind when they go back and return to the familial tyranny of home.
Lack of discourse on sexuality is one of the main reasons why we are so unequipped to handle our sexual nature. We are quick to declare any unfamiliar behavior or act as perverse and organizations only chance upon the insecurities of the people and stigmatize it as a measure of control, appropriation, regulation, maintaining order and demand etc.
I think it shouldn't be so difficult… for me and everyone else around. I don’t want to be manipulated at every level of my social intercourse. I want an environment where my sexuality flourishes and not for sex' sake, also for sex sake, but for the sake my overall growth and well being. It has to start with me fighting myself and my prejudices and self image but it’s also about the people around me who need to think a little more about what they expect from their sexuality and others’ before putting a tab or tag on it, which is what the controllers want us to do.
Sex is the biggest product in the market and the more uncertainty there is over it… the more curiosity there will be among its consumers, the more ways there are to sell it, and over sell it, in any way the sellers may please. I don’t want to buy something that I must produce for myself. What do you think?