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Sunday, November 30, 2008

And thats how i want it!!!

Sahil: Wassup
Shivam: My baby!
Sahil: bol
Shivam: My jaanam. I missed you sooh much!
Sahil: it hurts?
Shivam: LOLZ... So wat r u upto?
Sahil: online... got up at 2 online n paper n tv. Feel so useless. I wana c yuvvraaj n sory bhai. But i feel guilty to go watch a muvi at this stage
Shivam: I know. m just writin an article bt it... how people wont watch a muvi out of guilt... and the loss its causing to the industry
Sahil: oh..hmm..dude... now no new yr celebrations too... It l be too inhuman of us if we celebrate...
Shivam: Really... who told you that? I am going to celebrate new years... Even if I do that attending a prayer for the deceased... but I will!... and about you movie...I think you can watch a muvi...
Sahil: I will feel really bad yaar
Shivam: You don’t have to
Sahil: oh..hmm... y nt?
Shivam: because it doesn’t matter... doesnt make u a bad guy
Sahil: wen my city has suffered so much..n ppll hav died? Doesnt it? Maybe... but doesn’t feel kind of njoyment
Shivam: But you not enjoying wont benefit ne1... besides u r neways nt doin sumthin abt u might as well help people recover loses
Sahil: I am things to settle down atleast 5 %
Shivam: now thats hypocrisy
Sahil: lol
Shivam: doesn’t benefit anyone... certainly not the people who have lost directly... its for the best the city helps them get on with their lives... not remind them of their tragedy with empty streets and no life and celebrations... of course the respects have to and will be offered but then don’t disguise them in sadness either... it is a display of hope... Isn’t it?
ahil: wad you are saying makes sense. But still it doesnt feel right ya... i dunt kno..just
Shivam: i can understand... every1s feelin like that... but why not follow things that make sense yaar... all this loss... what is it but a result of non-sense
Sahil: but i feel stupid all the more..cuz after a few days,..i will start njoying neway... dunt kno how to run away from that... at least... i wont celebrate new yrs this yr
Shivam: Your least doesn’t benefit anyone even at the least man... not one bit. And as for you enjoyment after some dont have tio run away from it... for thats how life is... it moves on!! Over everything...even the biggest losses...and thank life for that!... for the world wud b a sad place otherwise... always mourning
Sahil: i kno man... but shudnt start njoying wen ppl r stil suffering
Shivam: mm ... all i m sayin is those who have been struck directly, their sufferin isnt endin too soon
Sahil: hmm?obviously
Shivam: and you aint gonna wait for that either... so where is the sense?
Sahil: i kno.
Shivam: like i said its just hypocrisy
Sahil: i told u it doesnt make sense...but it just feels better... this hypocrisy
Shivam: which by the way is totally justified at this point of time
Sahil: heart is senseless... especially during such times
Shivam: of course... and thank heart for that... for otherwise there wud be too much sense in the world... and too much sense is non sense again... much hazardous then when there is a lack of it
Sahil: LOL
Shivam: And i think this chat made a lot of sense...i l put it on my blog
Sahil: lol... thnx thnx
Shivam: LOLZ...i m not sayin u did.... m sayin I did in this chat!!!
Sahil: fu u then
fuk *
Shivam: i got that... without the foot note as man!!

As for you guys... Be THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE... DON’T BE SAD ABOUT THINGS THAT HAVEN’T... The past few days have been stressful and distressful... But it’s over now... and you have to let go of it... of the remorse I am saying...
Go home... hug your loved ones... get together and wish and thank that this was not worse... for it clearly could have been...
Have some coffee... watch a movie... or your favourite soap... have a good night sleep... fearless and free...
And get back... GET BACK to life... with more enthusiasm and ambition and will (For some... Justifiable vengeance)... for you know there is a much work pending on this planet... take the responsibility... for the today that will come tomorrow!
And that my friend will make us a worthy human being!!!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Another way... MAY GOD BLESS US ALL!

Another strike another blow
Just another freak show...
I am laughing at you
And you thought you will make me cry
Just few more droplets
And you will dry...
You have lost your charm
And you know it well
You swell in anger
Avenging death knell.
It rings upon you
And you can hear it too
So you deafen your ears
In your aimless shoots!
You barge... you bark
You stay in the dark
You look for a saviour
In our fearful remarks!
Your kill
Brings still, you thrive on this pain
Let me tell you this my brother
Your kill is now in vain
For you kill will be yours only
And never mine
I will not weep for the soul
You turn divine.
Let’s see then how far do you go
Let’s see how you take hunger for sorrow
Let’s see how then, some sense you make?
Let’s see how then, what path you take?
I will follow you
Wherever you go
I will follow you with a gun and a bow!
And then I will swallow you
For you will spare my life
Which you will my boy!
Once you realize what is like...
LIVING TO LIVE... and not living to die!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Dasvidanya: **1/2 ... Watch only if you absolutely have to!

Cast: Vinay Pathak, Rajat Kapoor, Sarita Joshi, Neha Dhupia, Gaurav Gera, Saurabh Shukla

Duration: 100 minutes.

Production: One more thought, Lemontea productions.

Film: Dasvidanya-The Best Goodbye Ever.

It’s like watching 10 different short films woven around one character and his story. And that too, a story you have heard a million times? I was genuinely expecting better from Vinay and his team.

Yes- Like we guessed, Dasvidanya is 10 things to do before dying!

Bur why only the most obvious of thing? Let me just remind the makers that- Simplicity is one thing and monotony another.

Amar kaul (Vinay Pathak) is the ‘King of the sad’. A 36 year old accounts manager who lives with his part deaf eccentric mother; loveless and over worked, ‘looser’, his only status and boredom, his fodder.

One fine regular day, he is told that he has stomach cancer and has just 3 months left to him, (And this happens so early in the movie that you can’t even relate to his misery, simply because you don’t even know Amar. In fact, you just ponder what more can there be to the story that will hold you for another 90 minutes... Dasvidanya to all such hopes!) He wonders around the city mourning and complaining, and ends up at a bar. Here he meets Pratap(Ranbir Shorey) who tells him that the only way to battle death is to live life. Amar interprets the advice like he interprets other things and decides to move on with his life, which revolves around his daily chores to do list and office weight that his boss Dasgupta (A disgusting over eater Saurabh Shukla) thrusts upon him. But soon, his inner him (A Sanjubaba gone despo-like Amar) tells him how ridiculous he is to continue with his rusted cycle, when he should be spending his last days fulfilling his most cherished dreams.

That’s when Amar makes his bucket list.

Beginning from an everyman’s dream- He buys himself a car, Bosses over his ever-dominating boss, thus, quitting his job. Gets back to guitar lessons and finds his childhood heartthrob Neha (Dhupia-Her liveliness on screen well appreciated), only to tell her how he feels about her (Some good moments here because Neha is now married, yet he has to tell her that he loves her. It;s his last wish!) He then goes to Russia to meet his best friend Rajiv Julka (Rajat Kapoor). But Rajiv’s wife (Suchitra Pillai) assumes he is there to receive free treatment since both, she and Rajiv are famous doctors. Amar overhears their conversation. Hurt, he leaves the house in shame and once again wanders around the city. He is broken and disturbed, and attempts to jump off a bridge in despair. But, his luck! He is rescued... or rather forced and beaten to back off by a Russian prostitute, who takes him to her house. By the time the two fall in love, it’s time for Amar to go back. But this time, he doesn’t come back empty handed, for he has accomplished three of his dreams on the trip, his overseas fantasy, his friend, and... Love!

Comes back home, to make things right with his brother(Gaurav Gera), and also puts up with his mother’s tantric madness (Lame but funny!). But he has one more dream left- that is to have a picture of him on the front page of a newspaper! What happens to that dream... after he dies? Watch the movie.

For it bids a sweet goodbye, leaves you with a smile... and almost makes you forget how miserable the first half was.

But, what I really miss in the movie is the discovery aspect of a journey. Amar accomplishes his old dreams... but then stops dreaming. What about new wishes, the new learning’s, a bucket list never ends, does it?

Besides Shashant Shah’s direction just enhances the tedium and blandness of the script. He experiments in the beginning with some borrowed styles but doesn’t go on... which just maybe for good though, but shows that he is under confident.

Vinay Pathak hardly invents and passes of each scene in unexplained hesitance. There is nothing new, in his portrayal of emotions but he plays off fair, none the less. Sarita Joshi (Mumma) however amuses you throughout with her clumsy yet delightfully hyper act. Others, including Neha Dhupia, Surabh Shukla , Gaurav Gera, Rajat Kapoor also do their thing.

The background score is a charmer and so are all the songs. And there is a good blend of locations and colours on screen too!

But even then, Dasvidanya remains just another addition to our library, highly ignorable and not worth the big bucks in multiplexes. A DVD watch won’t do any harm though, but wait for the genuine ones to come out...

Friday, October 31, 2008

Every time!

Every time, you call my name
It is gonna brighten up your day!
Every time, you think of me
I am gonna make you happy
No, you don’t need to hesitate
I am yours for always, and I’ll do what it takes
To see that smile on your face
You look beauty-ful...

So call me, if things look bad
Call me when you feel lonely
You can call me anytime
Whenever you need me...
I am just a thought across
I am right inside you, feel me
Just place you hand on your heart
And flyyy....

To my place, where nothings a drag
No rush, your dreams in tact
You can rise
And go high
It’s still hard
Keep believe.

It’s my place, so good get’s you at last
Then you can take it, to your past
Like I said
Hold your heart
Just breathe
And you’ll be back
In your time

Every time you call my name
Don’t wait, just call my name
Call my name.

Every time, you call my name
The feeling you will get won’t be the same.
No, don’t hide from the blame
Let them claim.

Return to my place
We’ll sort it out
Together, in his name!
All you need, is all the same
What you have!

Your my place...

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Sorry Priyanka!

I know I am going a little over board here, apologising to Priyanka Chopra and all. Of course she doesn’t care what I write! But I am doing this because I feel I have wronged my work. My film review. Now, I cannot make any changes in the aol site where it is published but I thought the least I could do is tell you guys about it.
Well I have said in the review that Priyanka just does her thing, performing substantially well. I saw Fashion yesterday again. And Priyanka delivers a stellar performance! I don’t know why I over looked or couldn’t see the first time.(Probably I was too charmed by Kangana's madness and you guys sure know the reason for the affinity!) . Or probably, the lines on Pri’s neck and the paunch were too big a turn off for me. But again it is not fair for me to impose my obsessions on you guys. So I want to correct myself.
Well Priyanka's role was way more tougher in terms of performance than Kangana's and the lady has done it with utmost skill, confidence and most importantly she never went over the top in any of the scenes, let Kangana do her thing, even though she knew she was stealing it from her. Bravo girl. This just shows how mature is her approach towards filming and also that she is very confident about her capabilities. I hope the other actors learn something from her! She doesn’t blow you off in all the scenes, but when you look back at the movie, you realize how amazingly she has portrayed all the emotions. Very well.Finally she is back!
And one more thing, I forgot to mention this in the review but guys! The wardrobe malfunction scene where Kangana's boot strap snaps is one of the most wonderfully captured and amazingly performed scene in a lot of time. Fantastic!
Way to go girls!

Thats what I think about you....

Springs In Your Head!

I just want to tell you that
I will wait...
Wait till the time you can know that I am worthy enough to know the other you!
The one you are closer to.
The one you are one with!
I have seen glimpses of her...
In your smiles sometimes
But you are careful enough to laugh at that very moment... to hide!
I wonder
Try to remember.
Then I realize
Of course, the most sacred of things are meant to be protected
But are you sure you are comfortable with being undetected?
Think about it...
I will know your answer, you don’t have to say
Just know this
Wherever you go, I will be with you on that way!
To pray
So you never go astray
For it’s not a bay
This channel of clandestine existence!
One can be really lost
Without being lost at all.
Such is its anonymity
This worldly animosity...
Your blessings
And mine
be with you for always. Amen.
And with this ‘you’ too, just in case you chose to retain her!
I like you both
And I will love you both
When the time is right
Then you can love me to!
Till then, let’s wait.


The River.

Whenever you walk down that road
I think to myself where you’re gonna go
Are you going straight or you’ll turn right?
Or when I blink, you will be out of sight!

Let me know
Where I have to go
If I ever need to find...
Please tell me so
If I’ll ever know
Where is it that you reside!

Sometimes you turn, look back at me
And say somethings i don’t wanna see
But when you look again, and flash your smile
All doubts are washed off, takes just a while!

I am letting you know
So you can warn me now
If you feel you’ll need more time
To figure me out
To chalk out my course
To see if we both rhyme!

La la la la la la la la
To say that you are my friend!
La la la la la la la la
I will stay till you amend!
That I am now your friend!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Mazaa yeh Jalwa!!! ***1/2 Star Rating by the 5 Star reviewer!

With his latest offering, Madhur Bhandarkar has proved that he has more than just facts to share, for Fashion, unlike his other movies, is not just a depiction of reality, but a story... a tale... and that too surprisingly a delightful one!
Keeping in mind Madhur’s delight quotient that is...
Kangana opens the show, continuing from where she left in ‘Woh Lamhe’. She plays a devious super model Shonali Gujral (Gets really angry when her abusive boyfriend, more like sex and coke buddy, calls her crazy!), who ends up losing her career to an upcoming model Meghna Mathur (Priyanka Chopra) and to the much hyped addiction. She is admitted to a rehab for until the end of the movie. We will talk more about her later. That’s for sure!
As for our heroine, who comes to Bombay... aah! Mumbai... Mumbai, who comes to Mumbai from Chandigarh to fulfil her (mind you, not just model) but her super model dream, Madhur makes it an easier than miraculous ride for her. She gets her first show too fast to quick (Spare the lingerie advertisement... that’s just for Sri Lanka and Bangladesh. Yes there are some funny moments here) and in no time, she becomes a top model! *Trust me girls, it is not that easy*. As for Meghna, she takes the other road, driving in the ‘employee with benefit’ lane with Arbaaz Khan, a fashion honcho, who escorts her till the top. (And keeps her there!)
But Fashion ka jalwa gets to our girl. She goes around insulting everyone (Reason is not justified though, apart from what she calls “attitude”) sparing not even her roommate cum part time boyfriend Manav (Arjan Bajwa, a newcomer to look forward to definitely). She rubs Arbaaz the wrong way and result- Her contract is terminated. And she has no friends for support either.
Her lifestyle changes drastically. She falls on alcohol and smoke, and takes to the junkie lifestyle. Drunk and high, she ends up sleeping with a black guy (*evil eye to the director*). That strikes her (The colour black) and she realizes the mess she has put herself into.
Upset, she goes back to her parents. A year goes by; she gets psychological help! But then her dad (Raj Babbar) figures out that her only cure is that she must back to Mumbai and start all over again. He advices her this, and she returns to Mumbai. Apologising to everybody in her contact list, she decides she will start afresh. She again gets an opportunity (She has the right friends!) but this time she messes that up.
She is broke in all means. It is here that Kangana resurfaces, on the roads of Mumbai (You know where this is taken from). Meghna takes up her responsibility, in repentance. She helps Shonali recover, and in the process finds her lost spirit.
Let me not reveal the climax. T hough it very predictable but still it holds you.
The same can be said about the entire film, very blatant in terms of story, but the director keeps you engaged never the less. So much so that despite the 170 minutes length, you still want the movie to not end (Though a major reason and credit for this goes to the look designers and choreographers. Voila! The girls look magnificent). It truly is fashion at its best.
Taking about the girls, Kangana Ranaut is unbeatable on the ramp. The lady burns it from the first step, making Priyanka look like a substandard replacement throughout. Way to go! Brilliant performance also as she justly personifies the madness of a supermodel, in the most relentless fashion, using her dysfunctional accent as an asset once again and steals all the sympathy form Priyanka. As for Piggy Chops, she does her thing, yes, but then that’s all she does. And I have to mention this, the lines on her neck are a turn off, make up malfunction once again, and also when you see the slim as a scale Kangana and Mugdha Godse (who looks pretty where she has to and has acted fairly), it is difficult to not notice her paunch. Buck up on that one sweety. You are a super model Nevertheless she has her oomph moments of course, and has delivered a substantially grounded performance.
As for the detailing in the movie (Madhur’s speciality), guess there is just too much to show, for he hardly covers all aspects of Fashion, maybe touching some, but all that hoopla about revelations about the industry, there are none, apart from the usual gay, promiscuous and couch shades! Technical’s fair well, however cinematography had a lot more scope. The music is really good however it is underutilized I feel.
But overall, damn the movie is must watch. Your eyes are going to love this and so is your heart. And genuinely, there is nothing really ‘adulty’ about the movie. So go enjoy it with your family. Yes I used the word enjoy. See for yourself!

Monday, October 27, 2008


Here is something I had done for my Sociology project. It is a sociological analysis of a poem I had written. the analysis is a lso in the poetic format so... Read on...

Notes of a mad man!

When the world is laughing,

I hold back

Pitying their ignorance.

Doubting the fair

With a sense of pride

Loathing all innocence.

Drawing pleasure from the dark

Not rejoicing the light.

Searching only for the higher purpose

Leaving everything else behind.

Marching along the unknown

Hoping, sacrifice serves the reason

For its not with Them that I belong

Living the unlived season.

Thwarted by present

I am celebrating pain

Numbing the urge,

for only the future remains.

The path that I am walking

Opens only towards the end

which is a new beginning in itself

Let’s all the wounds mend

For sure, the blooded will have his victory

It’s in the nature

Resistencia will lead to discovery,

Tastier than all flavours.

And this shall be my story...

I’ll try my best to preach.

But mortality will never realize

For they believe only ‘luck’ is within their reach!


Everything is social

All thoughts, all actions, their reactions, their purposes...

Every creation, every work is relevant and a part of the sociological being of a person.

It is a reflection of ‘his’ sociology, his sociological imagination...

A canvas of his beliefs, of his morals,

Representing, where he stands in the sociological aspect of things!

‘Mutual’... everything is mutual, all losses all gains, the celebration as well as pains, all journeys... and all people... ALL beings, life and lifeless.

Having said this, I make it very clear that the mentioned piece of work is a part of ‘me’. And this is my effort to understand that part by using my knowledge in Sociology, imparted to me by Prof. Nandini Sardesai.

I am thankful to her.

Let us begin...

To understand an art, one must first understand its purpose...

He writes to clarify

He writes to strengthen

He writes to announce,

to himself and to others

His mind! His soul! His him.

His doubts, he calls for help, his shouts

All out

He wants to feel light.

The route... he wants a cohort.

Somebody to cling on to in the blackout

Where he resides, in his search for light.

He simply writes to feel strong headed... he is a cynic. A BEAUTIFUL cynic, if you can see.

Can you, he asks?

Now that we know why, lets figure out what.

Going stanza wise:-

When the... all innocence (Ethnocentrism)

He stands tall

Above all

So, he thinks.

He is anti-order

Burning all the fodder

provided to him,

In the incest of ethnocentrism.

He demeans others’ status.

Resists relativism.

He believes he is asociable. And he is loving it!

Drawing Pleasure... else behind (Culture)

His culture is asociable too.

Re-ordered to his sociology.

Limited to ‘black’ and ‘white’... his colours

His only colours.

Focused at the destination,

he invents, recreates, barring adaption, diffusion,

his way of breathing.

His language, only to himself

Meant to hide him.

To keep away norms, to keep away ‘their’ culture

Exclusivity to the reward, his goal!

Marching along... future remains (Social control, Interaction, Group)

Still, alone,

He rides to his throne.

Out grouping all

He lives beyond ‘control’

No interaction

Secluded satisfaction

Sensuous direction

Damned jurisdiction.

He owns his world!

Thwarted by... the future remains (Reality, Status, Definitions, Institution

His world, his reality

Time is his, and so is its duality.

Shaped by his perceptions

Rather the lack of it

Evaluating definitions

Re-meaning them. A new genesis!

His world is his master status

‘I’, the only resident.

‘I’, the only role.

‘I’, the only institution.

‘I’, the only descendent.

Where I lives on forever, but first it has to be created.

The path... wounds mend. (Reference group, Anticipatory Socialization)

That him is his reference

So he must remake

Sociology be cursed

For his creation is at stake.

Endure the bruises now

For then’s sake

For then will only survive

With now’s loss intake!

For sure... all flavours (Resocialization)

He is created.

And he is dripping

Smiling at ‘wait’

Victory bells ticking.

For he will achieve his reference

Its done, its set

Its found, its on its way.

His role is coming

And its just the start.

Poor boy! All that he has resisted will greet him as he wins

For he will celebrate,


At that ‘now’ he never believed in!

This shall... Luck is within their reach.

Wow! It’s amazing to realize that, no matter how hard you try to run away, this world gets you finally. “Thank world for that!” we would say. But what about this boy who will one day realize that all he had left back during his journey is what he got at the end of it. Irony, at its killing best, isn’t it?

He achieved what he wanted to without anybody to his side, but in the end he had to come back to the people to share his reward, his story. Because a reward has no meaning if it’s not shared.

Some things are not meant to be exclusive. Life is not meant to be exclusive!


Bow your heads

And let the trumpets blow

For the social order of things prevails.

Thank you for reading my work. I really appreciate it.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


Hey mister...

Why are you so silent...

Dont you get bored sitting here all alone all the time...

Oh! your verbally impaired, is it?

Do some sign language at least. Its not good manners, not responding to people...

My god! You are so stubborn...

I came all the way frm Bombay... Oh now Mumbai, of course... to see you. And look at you. So haughty...

All this gold makes you have this air, it seems...

But dont forget it is us who have given you all this...

Yah... My Dad is into donations and stuff so...

I dont believe in this, of course...

Giving away the hard earned money!

I' d rather watch a movie...

I can treat you there...

But clearly you seem so unintersested...

Man! you are such a bore...

Abd guess what?...

Blah!I am not going to bother anymore...

*Stands for sometime*

Chalo then! I am leaving. It was nice seeing you.

I am being sarcastic of course...



Hey. Who was that?
I kind of like him though...
He's cool
Didn't treat me like a Blah either...
Hey, guess what?
I have made my decision.
I am going after him!!!
Finally someone who treats me like i am alive. God!!!
Now where did he go???? boy?

Its THAT simple! God...and life...and everything we assume isn't.

All we need to do is see what we see...

All that mankind needs is... to BE... just BE!

You see?

*High time, get a glasses if you don't... Ass*

Saturday, October 11, 2008

ADIOS! Phir kabhie...

Well I just want to say that I had a lot of fun making this Blog.... though I didn't write much for it! ... But I had fun publicizing it anyways!!! … Telling every person I knew, about it… literally harrowing people to check it… and bombarding the ones who didn’t comment… It was GREAT!
I will not be Blogging anymore!!! (Yeah… I can see you going Thank god!)
The reason… Read on one last time… Its highly unnecessary though… so only if you have no other work

When I started this Blog, I had two motives.
: In quest of sweet mortality - Which was about finding self-like creatures and establishing communication with them through this forum… sharing certain of my works, beliefs, thoughts, basically… an integral part of me. And second
: Was about some simple things that I went through and the idea was to let everyone know about those experiences so they may extract something from it!

And they did! A little too much though.
Yes I may have misrepresented myself… fat chance!
But still, let me for ones put the blame on others… not that it makes a difference… but I have been advised to… so anyways

Like I was saying… the over interpreters
Agreed, the writings were about me or related to me and were mostly true.
But they were just a PART of me! And let me come clear… A tiny teeny part.
But these enthusiastic bunch of ‘know it alls’ went ahead and chose to define my whole on their basis.
Not just that, they first redefined each meaning in the every work and its context, based on their interpretations and THEN they implied them on me!
Geniuses’ all of them.

So I became Devdas for everybody… and that too one without a Paro
Piteously pitiful!

Not to forget, the dark Knight… ahem light in which people already see me (For which I am solely responsible… sorry I subjected you through all that) and so THE IDEAL COMBINATION DID WHAT IT HAD TO : Made everyone, including me, weary about Shivam.

And genuinely I can’t deal with it anymore.
Eccentricity will never be granted casual acceptance in our society so I might as well contain it!
No, I am not saying I am eccentric… THEY ARE
And like I told you in the earlier post… what they say is what I am made to be, by them and by me, both.

Besides, something I found out last night has just left me mystified
And amazed, for sure,
About the way people function! OR DISfunction… both equally self righteous so who cares?

So I’d rather concentrate on learning about PUBLIC behavior than myself
I am toh there forever
It’s these people that I have to retain
And to do so, I will have to be like them! (See I am learning finally)
This will, of course, require a lot of practice
And I am out of time already.

Wish me luck
I will keep on posting interesting things I come across anyways, so you can check once in a while.
But nothing really personal. (Not that you are really interested either!!!)

And maybe I will be back once things get sorted out
Maybe real quick
Just hope so please ‘coz trust me I will be missing this… AND YOU”LL!

Finally, a couple of acknowledgements!

Esha Rihal: Guys follow her blog It’s Fantastic!
Pratik Bubna : My first and most generous reader.
Smaran ...PROFESSIONAL NAME STEADTLER... i can give you'll his number too : My favorite critic in the whole wide world! #%**"@
Poorva Agarwal : Can’t thank her enough. Her blog is the most serene one I have come across. Serene and reflective… like her. Take the experience!
Viral Savla : Oh! My Poet Friend. My Pillar. My Inspiration. My source. One of the best poets I know. See for yourself on
And all the people who fell for my enforcement and read the Blog Or even *drooled* at the pictures. It really means the world to me!!! I am not even kidding. It does…

Couldn’t have been possible without you guys… Honestly. Thank you.

……………………..........END OF SHOW…………………………………

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Strange Beliefs...

"All is for me, Me is all"

"Sex is just a small part of Sex"

"I suck at Romantics... I Do. Maybe thats why I believe I will make a submissive lover"

"A country's politics is the most appropriate representative for the kind of people that live in that country"

"Religion is a chunk of your heart and a peice of your mind... Or a peice of your heart and a chunk of your mind. Both ways, it is unbalanced!

"Love is exactly what it is not!"

"Don't shun the games darling... ever! 'Coz you never know if you are the chosen one"

Saturday, October 4, 2008

It is funny I keep apologising to people I have lost!!! They ain't coming back anyways. What do you'll think... Should I continue?

Michaami Dukhdam... I say

Look at me
Look at me again...
With the eyes you once had,
With that heart, I, hurt so bad.
Try and see...

People break
But it doesn’t mean that they are broken
For what you see is also what you don’t.
Scars do show
Yet the soul remains soulful
I swear, I promise, believe me, I won’t.

But now I am done with asking
My remains remain with you
I don’t know why
But it is like a sweet melody, this pain.
It makes me smile, then I flood,
which drowns the ‘me’ in me
Like you always wanted to.
God bless my misery!

It’s not like I can’t
But I won’t emerge
The beauty is that the more it swells, the more I bow down to you.
They ring the bells!
To waver my guilt.
I resist.

Rescue me
Before I lose it all
Help me stay in pain!
For that’s the only way we can stay together...

Friday, October 3, 2008

Excerpts from the Goan Diary...

It happened to me in a shady club in Goa. It always happens to me in a club. And this is one major reason why I don't prefer clubbing. It always feels like a temple, too pius and provoking and awakening...The music. They see me dancing but that's not Me. I am toh somewhere far away with those guys screwing me up. Where I am made to see things I want to ignore, things we usually run away from, things we fear, and things we know we can do nothing about! Its like meditation, where the hidden thoughts come alive. I may be sounding like a maniac depressive to you but I am sure everybody has a place like that, where you have no control, you lose your body... Its all in the air. Oh! anyways read on... and see what happens, how it happens, and how it leaves me... When I go CLUBBING>>


Surrender my body
To the entangling beats of the night.
Marvelling... they mock my sway
But I swear it is not mine!

Rescued by some beings next door,
My master sets himself free,
Taking me beyond 'us'
Away from sweet mortality.

I long to get back to ignorance
'coz this view of me churns my left resistance.
My emptiness left bare,
And vulnerability barring all filling vents.
Contradictions won't let anything repair,
As my war with me continues...

Swells up the enigma down there
And I am taken further away
A tear of mine drops on my material disguise,
as he flows to the tune, lifeless.

Up here...
It is dooms' light.
Gone, I am, in the glare

And as I close down.
Erupts from within a lava of my nothingness,
burning everything I am in no time
I bid my adieus
I surrender once again... Arrest me my Demons!
I wait.

Meanwhile, an escaped flicker of a lazy good doubt
lights my within.
Then one last time, I peep inside the hollow cavern.
I am about to stare when
Hsss! I blind

It is the endlessness of my space.
The glamour of its unoccupied volume,
echoing 'what I am isn't what I'll be,
That I am just a beginning, with a choice to retain what I keep'.

They say my upgradation is complete
And just when I am about to ask if
... Once again, the noise of silence
My senses lost.

And I am catapulted back to time

Shivering, I open my eyes,
To find my people
Rejoicing on my opportunity
On this blessed lightness I can, now, enjoy.

But, only, till I am refilled with the unholy,
Again, longing to be taken.

And goes on the voluptuous morn.
My smile intact throughout,
as I converse with the music...
Gratified about my whereabout!!!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

My love story with Life

With every passing moment,
I think of you more than ever.
My friend, philosopher.
and that is how I want it to be,
For now, until ever.

Call me a hopeless lover
If you must.
and maybe I am that.
but pity is what he gets,
I...have had your time,
Your thoughts,
Some times your care.
Your weight too, I have felt.
Seen you as I see you
In me and beyond!
Nothing more you could give
Nothing more I would take?

Its funny, But I try to be you.
To make up for my irreplaceable need...
Eccentric they call!
But its a gift you have given me.
It is your zest for life that
fills me with fervor for my own.
If it wasn’t for your transparency, I would have blurred up long back
So I owe you
And I am sorry now I won’t pay back.
Remember...You didn’t let me!

So goes on and on, the list of your giving’s.
Makes me feel petty.
And I am that
Not that I mind… you know that, don’t you?
And you will not stop, would you?
Petty is not pretty for a long time baby
I am losing it…

One more thing
Oh godforsaken love, fuck you!
Will you... Can you... May I...
Let me stay with you,
Just, in that smallest part?
In that fade memory of casual acquaintance.

Too much... huh?
Answer me at least!
Or even in this piece of paper,
With you,
Wherever I am, I will be grateful
Like I always have.
Will always be.
That's the difference between you and me.
That's the reason why we can never be.
Of course, it is not like you want it
So where was I
Yup! pleading...
Stay no more.
I am crying already

So with this hope, not less…
That you will hold this once again,
I lock, with my life,
this treasure chest of
my loveliest luck.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

The philosophy of choice… and failed rejoice… Just another reason to blame the lame old sacrifice.

I had two choices only:

Either I could lose myself... to find others

Or just stay

And let others find me.
But others were very important for the 'I'

Yet 'I' wanted to live himself.

So I did what you would have done!

I did nothing.